New Year Resolutions

So, last month I mentioned starting new things this year. I started writing this on day 7 and 2026 was already kicking my butt. However, I am still alive.

Thanks, my OC that no one else really knows yet, Akiro. XD

If you are among the many people that start the new year with strong resolutions but quickly or eventually see those attempts at change dwindle with discouragement, mayhaps I can share some thoughts that I heard recently and liked.

1. Even small changes can have big impacts
2. Continuing to do something new can be exhausting when change doesn’t happen as fast as desired. Try to change the mindset (pretend it’s like watching new movies or playing new games).
3. Forgive yourself for stopping, and allow your self to pick something back up at any time without judgement. Every small step is still a step, and every step is for you.

1) Even small changes can have big impacts

I went to an improv class a few days ago (and got to let my inner ADHD child run free for a little bit). Before we started, the teacher talked about how doing something a little different every day can have a great impact on your mental health. Brushing your teeth with the other hand, eating something different for breakfast, going to an improv class… Whatever you can do to break routine and experience something new, it can make life interesting and strengthen neural pathways of adaptability, curiosity, learning, etc. This can help prevent you from becoming a grumpy “This is how it’s always been done” person.

So, small changes to break rigidity, mundanity, and a boring life. You never know what might happen because you did something a little different and set your mind up for new experiences and habits. My spontaneous OC, Esu, is telling me to suggest wearing your shirt backward or inside out, but his friend, Mika, says that’s not practical for everyone and that she’s just going to try brushing her teeth by holding her toothbrush in her left hand. Esu says he’s gonna try brushing his teeth with his feet. Akiro says it’s time to move on. XD

2) Change your mindset

Maintaining a habit of switching small things up can help prepare your mind and body for bigger changes. However, some resolutions are to form new habits or to gain something that you must form a new habit to achieve. Trying new things can be exhausting and difficult to maintain.

I saw an ad recently about making new friends. You go to a new place or event and hope to find new friends, but when you get there, no one strikes a spark or it’s nothing like you expected. However, this event is a weekly thing and open to anyone. I have a bunch of examples for this: Improv classes, boardgame meet up groups, trying out new churches, going to your city’s writing group meetings, etc. Maybe you joined a club at school or are trying to find a new table to sit at. In these situations, it’s not always guaranteed that the same people will be there each time. However, getting out of your comfort zone where only strangers or acquaintances are waiting for you there is not great for motivation.

The ad I saw lamented at our mindset for seeking new friends as “ready-made” or “fully formed” at the start. Making new friends takes time, and not just to find them, but to grow into them. It compared trying new things to going to a movie theater. You don’t go to a theater and quit movie theaters all together because you saw one bad movie there. You go back to that same theater later because a different movie might be wonderful. When you play a new videogame, you don’t quit the console because one game is awful. You know you have found many great games to play on that console before, so you keep using that console.

This metaphor may be a bit of a stretch, but take those ideas, movie theaters and videogames, and see if you can compare them to your resolution. Just because you had one bad day at the gym, doesn’t mean the gym is a bad idea. Perhaps you started a new diet and failed miserably by the second week. One bad movie. Movie theaters and diets are not perfect, but they can still bring good things if you give them and yourself another chance.

So keep trying, but don’t expect immediate success every time you “go to the theater” or “play a new game.” 😉 Try to enjoy the journey.

3) Forgive yourself and try again

I haven’t heard this idiom in a while, but remember it’s never too late to “get back on the horse.”

So you told yourself you were going to write 2,500 words every day and you haven’t written more than 50 in a week. Maybe you wanted to read 50 books last year and you absolutely failed and now you’re scared to make any goal this year. Hey, it’s never too late to start or start again. You never know, this year might surprise you. (Of course, modifying goals is not a bad thing either. Perhaps now that you have a taste for what this year will bring, you may have to adjust your goal to 2,500 words a week. Progress is progress. Remember who you are doing it for and what that person can handle right now. )

This time, I’ma use an ADHD metaphor! Sometimes it can be difficult for a person with 1,000,000-thoughts-all-the-time and can’t-sit-still syndrome to meditate. Some say it’s impossible. As an ADHDer myself, I love meditation. One useful advice I heard about this, however, is about handling distractions. You try to meditate and clear your mind, but 5 minutes later you find yourself thinking about what you said to that stranger yesterday. ADHDers are often trained to punish distractions and “just focus,” but that’s not helpful to a calm, meditative state. It is better to recognize the distraction (mistake/failure to meet goal), accept it (I smile at mine and pretend to tuck them into a soft bed like, “That’s fine. You can exist. But right now I’m doing something else.), and then return to the meditation’s focus.

Treat any mistakes or failures in your new year’s resolution like a distracting thought while you’re trying to meditate. Forgive yourself (you’re human!) for falling off the horse and get back on it as soon as you can.

Final Words

After a while, maybe you’ll find out that you really just don’t like that horse or that movie theater or any game offered on that console. It’s also okay to…try something new. :0

I hope you all have a good rest of your year! Me? I’m currently editing chapter 19 of 24 in book 1 of the Selenia Ki / Lost Elementalist series! I think I figured out all the big changes and now I’m just applying them! Publication date? *runs away*